1. I don’t think I’ve ever stepped into a gym – they won’t let me smoke there. I just thank God Miller Lite isn’t as fattening as most beers. If I cut back on beer, though, I’d look anorexic.
2. There are probably some things I could do to keep my flexibility up, but I’d rather smoke, drink diet Cokes and eat.
3. I enjoy the oohs! and aahs! from the gallery when I hit my drives. But I’m getting pretty tired of the awws! and uhhs! when I miss the putt.
4. I’ve got the drinkers and the smokers and the eaters on my side.
5. I was never able to have three of four beers. One’s too many, and ten just ain’t enough. Basically it’s the way I’ve been since high school.
6. Everyone has addictions and my problem is that I have 5,000 of them. If it’s not drinking, it’s gambling; if it’s not gambling, it’s eating anything from burgers, doughnuts to M&Ms. The only addiction I don’t suffer from is chasing women.
7. I don’t workout, I pull out.
8. This fitness thing is blown out of proportion. What am I going to do on a treadmill – smoke a cigarette and drink a diet Coke?
9. Well, it’s a tie and jacket and I just don’t travel with one, … You’re not going to put a coat and tie on me for dinner. I’m just being honest. Plus, the wives can’t go and I’d rather see the wives be able to go instead of just all the guys. That makes it fun.
10. I hit the ball as hard as I can. If I can find it, I hit it again.